i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize