he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
