I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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