Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
