im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
