I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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