you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Drunk is not a location!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
