so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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