Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
