help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize