Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
