K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
