She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
