Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
