Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
