I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize