I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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