with your own penis?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
