i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
