I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
