why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize