Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
