Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
