I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
