There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
