i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
