dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize