yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Couch. On fire.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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