I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
