you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize