That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
