Can Purell be used as lube?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
