you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
