I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
