Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
