help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
