he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize