Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
