just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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