there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
