mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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