Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
