Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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