I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
