He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
