fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
