Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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