I'm lost and stupid without you.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
People in love make me want to vomit
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
