just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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