We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
