The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
