my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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