shes about as inviting as chlamydia
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
