She is in my trunk
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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