white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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