I heard we made out
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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