So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So much Jack, so little girl.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
