so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
